Identifying and overcoming conflicts
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Identifying and overcoming conflicts in our lives can be exceedingly helpful to our happiness and wellbeing. Every person has own way of dealing with the conflict. The approaches individuals use is based on various variables such as basic underlying temperament, personality, the environment, and people’s professional career. Typically, when people are solving a conflict, they apply styles like accommodation, avoiding, compromising or collaborating. None of these conflict-solving styles is superior in and of itself. How effective an individual can use a style in solving the conflict will depend on the context in which they find themselves. When resolving conflict, one should be careful on the style to choose depending on the nature of one’s relationship with the person involved and the importance of the issue to you. There are several basic human needs which are pertinent to conflict resolution. These include the need for recognition, for self-awareness, security, and bonding. In my life, I have experienced a lot of conflicts which I effectively solve using various styles.
Areas of conflicts
There are many different areas of conflicts that we face throughout the day. In our school football club, I was once confronted by a situation where I clashed with our captain, Tim Cook, over the team allowances. Cook wanted to offer the team fewer allowances than the amount allocated by the school. I vehemently disagreed with his decision forcing him to abort his plans. This brought a great enmity between me and Cook. More often, he would scold and embarrass me with demeaning remarks. During the matches, he would either overlook or bench me purposely because of our grudge. I tried to avoid the situation, but our conflicts become more persistent.
Our relationship with the Captain continued to deteriorate and began affecting the spirit of the whole team. Reluctant to take sides, other teammates tried to bring us together with no avail. After three weeks of disputes with the captain, I decided to solve the conflict. Since our relationship was intensely sour, I decided to find an amicable style to resolve the conflict. I consulted the school psychologist who advised me to use accommodating and compromising style to solve the conflict with Cook. I considered speaking to him individually rather than using the mediator. I approached him and listened to his side of discontentment. Cook’s arguments were valid just like mine, but I choose to accommodate him and apologize. I admitted that I bore some responsibility to the problem even though it was Cook who brews the conflict. Interestingly, Cook was fascinated by my move and offered his hand to end the conflict.
Lessons learned
Every conflict provides us with lessons, and our response to our conflicts measures how well we have learned the lessons. My conflict with Cook taught me that one’s conflicts can affect their relationships with people outside the feud. I learned to embrace the conflict as the source of growth and transformation. Disagreements are normal in life but how people solve them, matters a lot. We’ve been in situations where our goals and needs come into conflict with someone else. This may result in intense personal animosity which can affect our daily. Therefore, people should refine their conflict handling skills. The experience improved the way I handle conflicts. First, I contemplate my thoughts, desire, and actions before resolving any conflict with an individual.
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